Finally moved into my own apartment! :) Life has been rather amazing, despite few bumps, here and there. Our only computer broke, so no internet for me until I visit my mother back home, which is about once a week.

so much for updating my xanga more often. le sighhh.

It's a strange thing, really. My roommates and I are barely making ends meet. we always need more food. we need more gas money. we need more hours at work. we need a vacuum cleaner. we need more decorations. We're scraping by and yet... I couldn't be any happier :) Even though I'm poor, I'd rather live like this and be fully independent than to live a cozy life back at home under my parents' control.

19 years old with my own car, my own place, and a steady job, and I'll be starting school (which I'm paying for) next semester. I feel accomplished :D

Back in May of this year, I took a much-needed vacation with my former orchestra to California. The trip was incredible, especially since I'd been dying to go back to southern California since first visiting 6 years ago. Not gonna lie, the place has a bit of my heart and I would love nothing more than to live there someday... if it weren't for the cost of living >.<

Well anywhooo, on day three of the trip, we made a stop by Universal City Walk to do some shopping & to eat at the Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. (love that place :D). Laura and I were just walking through the crowd, talking about her relationship with her then-boyfriend and their issues. My friend Trisana runs up to us with two roses in hand, gushing about how her boyfriend just bought them from a vendor for her. Of course Laura and I smile (yeah, the girl had bad timing, but we weren't about to let her know that) and tell her how sweet of him it was and such.  We all started walking towards the restaurant and Laura mumbles "I wish I had somebody to buy me roses..."

I stop in my tracks, letting Laura and Trisana ahead some distance and began looking for someone selling roses. My eyes land on a cart full of roses not too far from me, with two guys standing beside it, laughing and smiling at each other. "How much for the roses?" I ask as I walk up to them, a big smile on my face.

One of the guys smiles back at me, the other just watching him with a grin on his face. "Two for five dollars." As I dug around in my pockets for cash, the guy (now known as Guy One) attempted some small talk with me. "So who are the roses for?"

I point to Laura, who was still visible in the distance. "My wife!"

He laughed, and then exchanged glances with Guy Two, who's small grin has now been replaced by a sly smile. "Oh really? Your wife?"

"Oh, she's not really my wife!" I said, correcting myself. "She's just my best friend." I had forgotten two things. One, it's California, I suppose people are going to take you seriously when you say something like that because two, gay marriage had actually been legal there for a short period of time. (Prop 8 was still in effect at the time).

"But she will be your wife soon, right?" Guy Two asked, the sly smile growing bigger.

Finally finding just enough dollar bills, I handed the money over and shook my head. "Actually--"

Guy One cut me off, handing me three roses. "Here's another rose, on us. For your soon-to-be wife."

I looked at the guys, somewhat reluctant to accept the third rose, when something finally clicked. The way these guys looked at each other, the way they had been laughing together... Their relationship went beyond just selling roses together. My heart warmed at the realization. "Thank you so much!"

I started to walk away and once I was a few feet away from them, I turned around and smiled at them once more. "Prop 8 be damned!" Guy One exclaimed, putting his arm around Guy Two. I nodded my head in agreement and took off running after Laura.

Prop 8 be damned indeed.

sunglasses and hoodies cuz that's how wifey and I roll.

So in the past month that I've been working, people have come to assume many things about my situation.

"She's never going to go back to school."

"Did she not even get into college?"

"What is she doing with her life?"

Okay, so no one has ever directly asked me that last question. Heck, I don't know if they have even thought it. But it is something I ask myself every day, heading to work.

"I could be learning right now. Philosophy, psychology, history, literature, the works!" (No math and science por favor. We don't get along too well.)

 I know I'm doing the financially smart thing. Why should I have to take out loans for community college when some saving up can pay for it just fine? Then I think about how this is setting me back-- It'll be hard for me to get back into the groove of things. I'm loving the no homework, no all-nighters, no stressing over tests and projects...

Though I still am trying to read plenty of books. I loved AP English, and am currently in the midst of rereading Paradise Lost. Hopefully by reading and interpreting such literature, I can at least keep my brain "in shape". Ehhhh.

Stupid recession. Stupid me for not doing better in school and getting plenty of scholarships. And stupid financial aid for telling me I didn't qualify because my parents made "too much". MY DAD'S BEEN UNEMPLOYED FOR OVER A YEAR. We went from $120,000 to just... Oh. Less than half of that. ;____;

Oh well. I guess this year off is really helping me "find myself", even though that wasn't my original intent. As much as I love literature, psychology, and such... I really want to own a bakery. Like a little dessert shop, with awesome delicious cupcakes, regular cakes, pastries, the works. People would fall in love with my desserts and rave about them, and they would be reasonably priced :)

haha I can dream. I still have another few months to figure this stuff out, right? No rush or anything >.<